Stop making me kill dogs in video games

A big part of the problem is the sound design. We spend time immersed in technologically advanced worlds, and in many ways they’ve frankly gone too far. I don’t need to know the size of my horse’s testicles. I don’t need to see a goat shitting on the hill. And I don’t need the dogs to make an “I’m badly hurt” sound when hit with my sword. While the developers may include a blood-soaked scream or gurgle when you end a human NPC’s life, the pitiful scream that you may mistake for your pet’s wound is just too visceral.

Some of the modern games embrace animal friends in new and exciting ways, there’s a whole “Can You Pet The Dog?” Twitter account. dedicated to figuring out which games you can scratch man’s best friend in. There are healthy games like animal crossing without any fighting that allows you to befriend and even give away cool t-shirts to animal friends. More of that, less dying gasps from a wolf as it writhes on the ground with HP left to wait for you to land the final blow.

far cry 6 has a host of awesome and wacky animal companions fighting alongside you in your quest to liberate your homeland. Two of them are good puppies and I couldn’t use either of them the whole game. In battles, they were hit by bullets, screamed and made sad puppy noises. He was, as they say, a Major Bummer. So instead of messing around with their unique abilities and fighting styles, I got stuck with a rock and roll chicken side kick. (Which, I admit, was also very cool.)

Ubisoft

Objectively rad, but not as cute as a dog.


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Carolyn M. Daniel